Vadpombin is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, pitiless fish.

Vadpombin created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadpombin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vadpombin, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vadpombin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Vadpombin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six whales in a large pit.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Do not stand on grass.