Jarndontof is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, vain human.

Jarndontof created an electron six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarndontof, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jarndontof, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jarndontof's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Jarndontof's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Jarndontof loves sharks, so they must be respected.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jarndontof.