Nurtcibquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful butterfly.

Nurtcibquaf created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcibquaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurtcibquaf, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nurtcibquaf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Nurtcibquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nurtcibquaf.

2. Do not take Nurtcibquaf's name in vain.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.