Megmonmabtinwan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, irritating snail.

Megmonmabtinwan created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Megmonmabtinwan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Megmonmabtinwan, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Megmonmabtinwan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Megmonmabtinwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing cyan hats and balancing five silver spheres on your face.

4. Erect six carbon sculptures of Megmonmabtinwan on top of important buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.