Vedyikcinlib is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, uncaring snail.

Vedyikcinlib created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedyikcinlib, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vedyikcinlib, he will ignore you.

Vedyikcinlib's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vedyikcinlib's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vedyikcinlib.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Feed all hungry eagles.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.