Tabyoggov is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, competent elephant.

Tabyoggov created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabyoggov, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tabyoggov, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tabyoggov's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Tabyoggov's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lots of bread to snakes while wearing violet hats.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not eat peas.