Kemtunbon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, able aardvark.

Kemtunbon created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtunbon, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kemtunbon, it will turn you into a puffin.

Kemtunbon's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Kemtunbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Run away from blue badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Kemtunbon loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.