Abquillbit is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty deer.

Abquillbit created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Abquillbit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Abquillbit, it will ignore you.

Abquillbit's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Abquillbit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt goats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about special relativity near snakes while wearing gray shoes.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

5. Abquillbit loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.