Hakpaszim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, tranquil capybara.

Hakpaszim created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakpaszim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hakpaszim, she will send you a sign.

Hakpaszim's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hakpaszim's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Put Hakpaszim first in all things.

3. Never sing near pigs.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. You must love Hakpaszim.