Cedtamlad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, irritating monkey.

Cedtamlad created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedtamlad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cedtamlad, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cedtamlad's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Cedtamlad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always look after injured nematodes.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.