Mistaljaphom is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, capable fairy.

Mistaljaphom created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mistaljaphom, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mistaljaphom, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Mistaljaphom's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Mistaljaphom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away if three hamsters approach from the east.

4. Feed all hungry snails.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.