Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, wise squid.

Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam.

2. Pogyakven Tettigencublegquam loves swans, so they must be respected.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always help sick nematodes.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.