Quatrutsasgemtikbus is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonourable duck.

Quatrutsasgemtikbus created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatrutsasgemtikbus, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quatrutsasgemtikbus, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quatrutsasgemtikbus' most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quatrutsasgemtikbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about squirrels.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.