Cenbumvab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, clever capybara.

Cenbumvab created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenbumvab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cenbumvab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cenbumvab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cenbumvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Run away if five capybaras approach from the north.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.