Barnyammab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthoughtful tortoise.

Barnyammab created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnyammab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Barnyammab, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Barnyammab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Barnyammab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Fast once a month.

3. You must love Barnyammab.

4. Never talk about special relativity near tapirs while wearing indigo trousers and balancing six zinc spheres on your legs.

5. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.