Dissmotflan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, irritating crab.

Dissmotflan created the Small Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Dissmotflan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissmotflan, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dissmotflan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dissmotflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to whales while wearing cyan stockings.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Fast once a month.