Midwiknab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, generous wyrm.

Midwiknab created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Midwiknab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Midwiknab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Midwiknab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Midwiknab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near shrews while wearing violet jumpers.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not chop down trees.