Nurtflabgom is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish hippopotamus.

Nurtflabgom created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtflabgom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nurtflabgom, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Nurtflabgom's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nurtflabgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not kill porpoises.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.