Padlidzog is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish yak.

Padlidzog created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Padlidzog, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Padlidzog, he will ignore you.

Padlidzog's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Padlidzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.