Jadfenrig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate monkey.

Jadfenrig created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jadfenrig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jadfenrig, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jadfenrig's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jadfenrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Do not chant in public.