Bonkmabpak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, intelligent shark.

Bonkmabpak created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkmabpak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bonkmabpak, she will turn you into a snail.

Bonkmabpak's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bonkmabpak's Holy Commandments

1. Bonkmabpak loves cats, so they must be respected.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bonkmabpak on top of all buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Feed all hungry mice.