Nabqueegwat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, uncaring tapir.

Nabqueegwat created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Nabqueegwat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nabqueegwat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nabqueegwat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nabqueegwat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Nabqueegwat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Hide from violet capybaras for they are unholy.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.