Habbisszod Cemvanhak Quilltofwotyog is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish turtle.

Habbisszod Cemvanhak Quilltofwotyog created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habbisszod Cemvanhak Quilltofwotyog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Habbisszod Cemvanhak Quilltofwotyog, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Habbisszod Cemvanhak Quilltofwotyog's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Habbisszod Cemvanhak Quilltofwotyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never mention tortoises.