Zigdidjig Bissbedbessbitfligzigzodcuss Cepbafcen is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, self-assured lizard.

Zigdidjig Bissbedbessbitfligzigzodcuss Cepbafcen created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigdidjig Bissbedbessbitfligzigzodcuss Cepbafcen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zigdidjig Bissbedbessbitfligzigzodcuss Cepbafcen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Zigdidjig Bissbedbessbitfligzigzodcuss Cepbafcen's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Zigdidjig Bissbedbessbitfligzigzodcuss Cepbafcen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry turtles.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.