Hubpanpin Mipyarttail is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, temperamental aardvark.

Hubpanpin Mipyarttail created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubpanpin Mipyarttail, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hubpanpin Mipyarttail, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Hubpanpin Mipyarttail's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hubpanpin Mipyarttail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always obey Hubpanpin Mipyarttail's priests.