Tafvilgud is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, happy guinea pig.

Tafvilgud created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafvilgud, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tafvilgud, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tafvilgud's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tafvilgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near sheep while wearing pink tights and balancing eight nickel spheres on your chest.

2. Never think about dark matter near whales while wearing red rings and balancing five copper spheres on your feet.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.