Omtpodsom is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unfair goblin.

Omtpodsom created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Omtpodsom, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Omtpodsom, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Omtpodsom's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Omtpodsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of seals.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing violet shoes and balancing seven iron spheres on your arms.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.