Besshabmut Arpjab Midgabnat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy goblin.

Besshabmut Arpjab Midgabnat created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Besshabmut Arpjab Midgabnat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Besshabmut Arpjab Midgabnat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Besshabmut Arpjab Midgabnat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Besshabmut Arpjab Midgabnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick gulls.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Besshabmut Arpjab Midgabnat.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look in ponds.