Latnulfeb Zakcepcet is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, witless badger.

Latnulfeb Zakcepcet created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latnulfeb Zakcepcet, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Latnulfeb Zakcepcet, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Latnulfeb Zakcepcet's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Latnulfeb Zakcepcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Latnulfeb Zakcepcet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not listen to music.