Lenflagtadcep Sugmettap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome wren.

Lenflagtadcep Sugmettap created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenflagtadcep Sugmettap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lenflagtadcep Sugmettap, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lenflagtadcep Sugmettap's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lenflagtadcep Sugmettap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to hamsters while wearing hats.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.