Nulzedkon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, clever newt.

Nulzedkon created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Nulzedkon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nulzedkon, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nulzedkon's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nulzedkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.