Nadgomsasrap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, emotional walrus.

Nadgomsasrap created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nadgomsasrap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nadgomsasrap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nadgomsasrap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Nadgomsasrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near doves while wearing orange dresses and balancing eight lead spheres on your feet.

2. Worship no other gods but Nadgomsasrap.

3. Erect three gold sculptures of Nadgomsasrap on top of important buildings.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.