Kadflatgudmit Tomdimjop is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, calm aardvark.

Kadflatgudmit Tomdimjop created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadflatgudmit Tomdimjop, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kadflatgudmit Tomdimjop, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kadflatgudmit Tomdimjop's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kadflatgudmit Tomdimjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about dark energy.