Cemgumrow is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered jackal.

Cemgumrow created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemgumrow, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cemgumrow, it will try to impress you with trees.

Cemgumrow's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cemgumrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats in need.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not kill voles.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.