Gabvonktik is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody penguin.

Gabvonktik created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabvonktik, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gabvonktik, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Gabvonktik's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gabvonktik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Never talk about fire.