Safmilsand is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witty gnu.

Safmilsand created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safmilsand, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Safmilsand, he will turn you into a goat.

Safmilsand's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Safmilsand's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never look in ponds.