Legruttyam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, dishonourable alligator.

Legruttyam created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Legruttyam, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Legruttyam, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Legruttyam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Legruttyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never hurt whales.

3. Always obey Legruttyam's priests.

4. Legruttyam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink alcohol.