Bagtonbast is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless walrus.

Bagtonbast created the Cigar Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagtonbast, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bagtonbast, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Bagtonbast's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bagtonbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never mention otters.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.