Biftailrull is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, proud scorpion.

Biftailrull created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Biftailrull, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Biftailrull, he will turn you into a rock.

Biftailrull's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Biftailrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not kill hamsters.

5. Always help whales.