Ruttmifpog is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic naga.

Ruttmifpog created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttmifpog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ruttmifpog, it will cry a lot.

Ruttmifpog's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Ruttmifpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Worship no other gods but Ruttmifpog.

4. Do not kill gulls.

5. Never paint your legs purple.