Tonkgubbam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonourable jackal.

Tonkgubbam created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgubbam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tonkgubbam, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tonkgubbam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tonkgubbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Run away from mauve hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Fast once a month.