Kapwegcub Mumgadweg is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, conceited dryad.

Kapwegcub Mumgadweg created the world three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapwegcub Mumgadweg, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kapwegcub Mumgadweg, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Kapwegcub Mumgadweg's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kapwegcub Mumgadweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never wear fawn scarves.

5. Never run in the presence of great tits.