Stafjarncanyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, overgenerous armadillo.

Stafjarncanyatt created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafjarncanyatt, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Stafjarncanyatt, it will remove you from existence.

Stafjarncanyatt's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Stafjarncanyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Stafjarncanyatt's name in vain.

2. Worship no other gods but Stafjarncanyatt.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Stafjarncanyatt on top of all buildings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about fire.