Vagsassig Jatfemfub is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, tiresome zebra.

Vagsassig Jatfemfub created the Sunflower Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagsassig Jatfemfub, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vagsassig Jatfemfub, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vagsassig Jatfemfub's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vagsassig Jatfemfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near snakes while wearing violet rings and balancing four carbon spheres on your back.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vagsassig Jatfemfub.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Pray towards the south.