Nibdudjanpin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sapient seal.

Nibdudjanpin created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibdudjanpin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nibdudjanpin, she will destroy your home planet.

Nibdudjanpin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nibdudjanpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Never paint your legs pink.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nibdudjanpin.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.