Nulcibont is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless elephant.

Nulcibont created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nulcibont, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nulcibont, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Nulcibont's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nulcibont's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick badgers.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Hide if nine seals approach from the south.

5. Never write about dark energy.