Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, fussy porpoise.

Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob, she will remove you from existence.

Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob's Holy Commandments

1. Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

2. Tarvegwatvedvidbankapmob must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.