Cem is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty mole.

Cem created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Cem, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cem, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cem's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Cem's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near pigs.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about spacetime.