Getjipveen is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent butterfly.

Getjipveen created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Getjipveen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Getjipveen, she will torture you forever.

Getjipveen's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Getjipveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing magenta shirts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your face.
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