Zansatjighudwee is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, weak giraffe.

Zansatjighudwee created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zansatjighudwee, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zansatjighudwee, he will turn you into a slug.

Zansatjighudwee's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Zansatjighudwee's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Always obey Zansatjighudwee's priests.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Always help snakes in need.